Part of Me I Never Knew

Like so many things with Hanna that first kiss was entirely unexpected.  It was also surprisingly gentle. His hand ghosted along my jaw before settling on the back of my neck pulling me forward. His lips were soft and wonderfully warm against mine. I didn't fight or pull away, though part of me said that would be best. Another part of me desperately wanted Hanna's lips against mine.

Hanna's lips parted and his tongue probed at my lips, insistent and needy.  My hands rested gently on his hips, he stood stretched onto his toes trying and failing to reach my height. I slid my arm around his waist and lifted him off the ground. He squeeked slightly as his feet left the ground but was otherwise undistracted. His skinny legs twisted around my waist and his hands stroked gently at my hair.

I turned my head, pulling away from the kiss breathng hard.

"Jareth?" Hanna said softly, hands still petting at my hair. "What…Did I-is something wrong?" The words fell out of his mouth sounding hurt and confused.

Reason struck me. I pulled Hanna away from myself and set him on the ground. "No, it's nothing, I just…" I found the words sticking in my throat. I pushed him away gently not wanting to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry Hanna." I grabbed my coat from the chair where it was hanging and left the apartment before Hanna could say another word.

~~*~~

Thoughts buzzed around my brain. I don't think I had ever been this confused in my life or death. The park loomed in the distance. The air was cold and clear, it was a nice day, relatively. My thoughts drifted to the young red head. Certainly I felt the need to protect him, and his companionship was something I didn't want to be without…but the thought of something more was a foreign concept to me. Like so many other things. I continued walking circling the park not really going anywhere at all.

Hours passed, they must have because the next time I looked at the sky it was turning fiery orange as the sun sank beneath the line of the buildings. I looked in the direction of Hanna's apartment…my apartment and still couldn't bring myself to return.

I walked the rest of the night exploring parts of the city I hadn't seen in my nightly travels. I needed something, anything to distract me. Finally the sky changed again turning gray with the first light of morning before the sun started to rise casting everything in a pink light. "I should go home…" I said quietly. I turned towards my home and began walking.

~~*~~

The door creaked slightly as I unlocked it and pushed it open. Cautiously I looked around the room for Hanna. He was curled on the mattress hugging the lone pillow. There were tear stains on his cheeks. A small sigh escaped my lips, something in my chest twisted knowing I had caused those tears. I removed my coat and put it back where it belonged on the chair.

I kneeled at the edge of the mattress. "Hanna…" My hand rested hesitantly on his arm. "wake up, I'm back."

He turned away from me making a deeply unhappy noise still sound asleep. Who knows how long he had waited for me to return. Maybe he thought I had left for good

"Please wake up Hanna." I shook him gently.

Hanna stirred lifting his head and looking around. "Huh? What?..." His eyes landed on me and his face lit up. "DEXTER!!! YOU CAME BACK!!!" He launched himself off the mattress and hugged me. "I was so worried." He said all the joy gone from his voice.  He untangled his arms from around my neck. "Sorry…" he muttered drawing away from me.

"You don't have to be sorry." The words still tried to stick in my throat, causing an awkward silence. "But I do…I shouldn't have left like that." I reached out my fingers brushing along the side of his face.

It was Hanna's turn to look confused. "But I, what? Does that? I mean…yesterday?" he said rather quickly fumbling over the words.

I smiled small and brief. "Yesterday caught me by surprise." I said playing with the curls at the nape of Hanna's neck as I pulled him forward kissing him softly. That seemed to be enough of an answer for Hanna, he moved closer kissing back his arms twining around my neck